My Broken Shellfish Shell
Everyone has their off-days. If someone ever said they didn't, I would consider them lying.
No one is at 100% at all times, but have you ever noticed there are some folks that you never see unraveled, while others you have seen lose their cool multiple times?
I've broken my shell more than once, especially when I was younger, and I used to think it was immaturity.
Classic example: Knowing a parent is doing me wrong in front of a family friend and making it a mission to defend myself and to get the approval of this person.
My natural responses to get this person on my side by proving my innocence may have been justified, but they were not the right ones. It was a selfish, short-term reaction that left a long-term impression. They would forever remember me as the "loud, disrespectful" child. I gained nothing.
When God created man, he made him in the
likeness of God.
It wasn't immaturity. It was selfishness to fight for my justice while forgetting what I represented.
Humiliating my parents in front of others was a fleeting moment of gratification. I realize that in hindsight. As I grew older, my need for self-justice never decreased but my discernment for its expression had. I began understanding that this wasn't how I was created.
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man
quietly holds it back.
I acquired friends that were confidants who listened, rebuked and advised. Ones who saw me in all my ugly glory and still thought highly of me. They were the type of friends who helped me process through my anger and emotional outbursts before walking me through a practical reaction.
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
My public outbursts aren't as frequent now but that doesn't mean I am a zombie or fake. In fact, it is much harder to bite my tongue and swallow my pride. But I would rather encourage others through my words than build a legacy of anger and foolishness.